Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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