Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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