need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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