I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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