Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
