Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just had sex bonerless
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
