I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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