Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
