The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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