put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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