If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
