She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
