That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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