"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
