He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize