ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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