Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
