Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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