I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
