I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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