thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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