just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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