Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
