She announced her abortion via fbk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
