So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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