You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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