dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
