Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Drake has all the answers
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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