It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
