Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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