so that wasnt chicken after all
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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