there's paper in my vomit.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
