is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
