At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
