I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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