Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
...so i touched it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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