did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
