You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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