That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize