I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
