Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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