So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
