I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
