just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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