we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
