I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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