with your own penis?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize