I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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