I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
