The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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