yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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