Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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