I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
