she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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