Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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