i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
