doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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