i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
