we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
