"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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