Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
