Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
