how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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