1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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