Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
